Monday, January 23, 2012

Two Years

Blossoming Lotus by Cynthia Rose Young

It's hard to believe that two years have passed. Two years since Shawn was paralyzed by an abscessed staph infection compressing his spinal cord. And today on the two year anniversary of that I feel calm and peaceful.

Last year as every minute passed from January 22 into January 23 I was reminded of what happened when. The anxiety and fear building all over again. Remembering. Last year got off to a rough start as well when Shawn had back to back bladder infections that lead to back to back ER trips. Each of those trips bringing that fear back. He had several other infections throughout 2011 that lead to high fevers with dramatic weight loss. Two steps forward three steps back.

But that's all in the past now. And with the fear subsided and the anxiety of reliving the hell gone, finally, I feel like I have grown. I can look back and say yeah, that was tough and I know that each time I didn't act from my highest self I was aware. And that awareness allowed me to try harder the next time. And while I know there's still growing to do (isn't there always?) I really, really do feel like I've risen up from the muck, like the lotus flower. To blossom on the surface of the water.

Like I said there's a peace and calm now. Like the storm has passed. Yes, there will be cloudy days and probably some bad squalls ahead but
The Storm has passed. And the sun has returned to shine on us. And I'm grateful for every step of this journey.

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