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Blossoming Lotus by Cynthia Rose YoungIt's hard to believe that two years have passed. Two years since Shawn was paralyzed by an abscessed staph infection compressing his spinal cord. And today on the two year anniversary of that I feel calm and peaceful.
Last year as every minute passed from January 22 into January 23 I was reminded of what happened when. The anxiety and fear building all over again. Remembering. Last year got off to a rough start as well when Shawn had back to back bladder infections that lead to back to back ER trips. Each of those trips bringing that fear back. He had several other infections throughout 2011 that lead to high fevers with dramatic weight loss. Two steps forward three steps back.
But that's all in the past now. And with the fear subsided and the anxiety of reliving the hell gone, finally, I feel like I have grown. I can look back and say yeah, that was tough and I know that each time I didn't act from my highest self I was aware. And that awareness allowed me to try harder the next time. And while I know there's still growing to do (isn't there always?) I really, really do feel like I've risen up from the muck, like the lotus flower. To blossom on the surface of the water.
Like I said there's a peace and calm now. Like the storm has passed. Yes, there will be cloudy days and probably some bad squalls ahead but The Storm has passed. And the sun has returned to shine on us. And I'm grateful for every step of this journey.
God I love holidays. Whether I celebrate or not, I love having those free days off. No work. They give me time to sleep in, laze about in the morning and get cat pics.
Our alternative to sparkler art ... glow stick. Happy 2012!
My intention for 2012 is to let joy, compassion, gratitude, grace, patience and passion guide me in all that I do. In other words to live and act from my highest self.
I've also seen other people pick a word for the year and I thought I would give that a try. The first word that came to mind as soon as I thought it might be cool to do this was nurture. Nurture? Seems kind of boring, maybe. Not exciting like Dream or Soar or Rock. But it's the word that came to me. So Nurture it is. Nurture my self, my husband, my animals, my home, my creativity, my soul. It's pretty cool after all.
Step one ... being present here.
Well, here I am again, a month later finally posting here. Clearly something needs to be done about busyness and too many obligations. But, one of those obligations I took on was for total fun! And creativity. Some of my co-workers had been going to Tipsy Artist, a little art gathering where you pay $40 and go paint while you have cocktails. One girl was like, hey, why don't we just do this at my house, save the $$ and still paint with cocktails.
So that's what they've been doing and I joined them last night. It was awesome.
I haven't painted in like 5 years and I haven't done anything non-abstract since like 1998 or so. AND nearly every painting I've done in the last 15 years was HUGE ... like 5' x 3'. Something that's very difficult to do at home and that can be overwhelming. My masterpieces from last night ... kitty portraits on 8x10 canvas.
Quick, sweet and soul nourishing. I loved it! And the paintings pretty much look like the cats!
I can't wait to do it again and now I've realized, I can paint at home!
