Pumpkin Peeks

'Round the Hood During Golden Hour

Sunset

I keep sneaking those lame sunflowers in:) This is the sunset from our deck.

Rain

Finally, a decent rain.

Summer

Spring Garden

Rebirthday

Today is my husband Shawn's Rebirthday. This is the first day of a new year of life for him and is significant on so many levels. He's been to hell and back and now he's back baby! (as George Costanza would say)

It's a rebirth for both of us and our relationship together. There's been some struggles and challenges but each one has been a teacher, leading to less struggles and challenges every day. Each day is better than the previous.

So, Happy Birthday Baby. This next year will be amazing, there's no doubt. I love you more than ever.

Happy Ostara

Happy Ostara. Ostara is the pagan/wiccan holiday for the Spring Equinox. When light and dark are balanced. It's a time for fertility, rebirth and new life.

This is pretty significant for us this year. Shawn's life, my life and our life together is in a stage of rebirth. It's all new. The movement he is now experiencing in his legs is a rebirth in his body. There's a new life for me as a caregiver. Shawn came home just shy of two weeks ago as the world around us was starting to awaken. It's like a shedding of the old — the illness, the surgery, the hospital, making space for the new — healing, strength, overcoming all of this.

Each crocus, daffodil, hyacinth and pansy that has bloomed in the past two weeks overcame the hell of this past winter, being buried under 2 feet of snow at one point. And we have overcome the hell of this past winter and are now blooming as well.

Rebirth

The crocus started blooming on Tuesday. The day Shawn came home.

Icicles

About the only thing I found myself appreciating about this last week in snow hell has been the
icicles. I saw some today that were about the size of a small child.

Frozen

Frozen. It's frozen on the outside and I feel frozen. Outside there was already a shitload of snow and ice and now after yet another fucking blizzard there is more snow and ice. Seriously ... what the fuck? In all the years of wanting an epic snowstorm, so my husband and I could be snowed in together, the year it comes is when we can't. Because he is in the hospital, paralyzed. His own body frozen.

And I feel like I'm frozen in a nightmare. We both feel this way. When are we going to wake up? But we are awake. And our reality is that our lives are frozen in chaos.

So we're waiting for the thaw. For everything to thaw. The icicles, the snow, the nightmare and the chaos. That change will come. And then life will begin to bloom around us and within us.

An Almost Normal Day

Snowy tree taken from inside the front door. What's that in the background? Why that is a clearing sky after about 30 hours of snow.

Today was an almost "normal" day. Normal in that I spent the afternoon working on some photos for a family that are long overdue. Normal in that I picked up my camera and took some photos. Normal in that I was able to just be creative and work on something that will bring smiles and joy. Normal in that I played a little game of fetch with Lucy. Normal in that I slept in, got up, had breakfast and coffee. But in this almost "normal" day, nothing was really normal. Shawn being here would have made it normal. While I was doing my thing, he would have been doing his, watering plants, working on the computer, taking a nap, reading. We would have had breakfast and coffee together, hanging out in the living room, watching the snow come down.

But he's not here. Instead, he's alone in a hospital rehab, paralyzed (hopefully, only temporarily). So really, nothing was normal. Our entire definition of normal has to change and right now we don't even know what that will be.

So right now, normal is actually chaos. Extreme chaos for both of us. Complete disorder and confusion. And all we can do is accept that.

The other thing that was not normal about this day was the freaking 20 inches of snow. Although, I guess for this winter that is turning out to be normal.

Trying to Embrace It

I'm trying really hard to embrace Winter. And today was a really nice, non-Winter, almost feeling like Spring day. Nonetheless, everything is all dead and brown and gray. What is green, is a flat, dull green. It's just so uninspiring. I've determined, I don't like January.

But, alas, it's January, and there's nothing I can do about it. So whether I like it or not, it's here and I must embrace it rather than grasp and crave for something else. That's the yoga we can find in everything, everywhere. Yoga teaches us that grasping and craving for something other than what is causes us suffering. So we must abide by Aparigraha, non-craving or non-grasping. Seriously, why bother wishing it wasn't January? I would simply be wasting precious mind space and energy.

In an effort to practice this I took the photo above. To find some beauty in all this dead of winter. Even though the plant is dead, there is still color in dried blooms. There's life in the plant, in it's texture and movement. Realizing this makes it all just a little better.

Empty

Empty pots, waiting patiently. Waiting for their purpose to be fulfilled come Spring.

Darkness

Seems like this is always the amount of light I have to work with these days. By the time I've finished errands, working out, cleaning or by the time I get home from work it's just damn dark. And since it's been butt ass cold, it hasn't been pleasant or desirable to be outside when there is light. What's a girl that likes to shoot in natural light supposed to do?? Well, I guess I'm just gonna have to brave the cold to get some outdoors stuff. Or find something inside at work that might be interesting. Guess I'm going to have to challenge myself. I know that the days are getting longer but I sure do wish they could get longer faster.

Butt Ass Cold

It's Butt Ass Cold here. Butt Ass Cold as defined by the Urban Dictionary is the coldest of cold. Colder than butt ass freezing.When you walk outside and you want to cry from the wind and cold temperatures. Indeed, I have wanted to cry from the wind and cold this last week. I wasn't even sure if Butt Ass Cold was a real term and apparently it is. There was one day, Thursday, where the wind had stopped whipping and it was 38 degrees and it felt balmy. BALMY at 38 degrees!! But the wind came back today along with an arctic blast. And that blast is supposed to be worse this weekend. This is Virginia. This is not normal or average. This Butt Ass Cold has kept me inside. I've been wanting to go outside and take some pics but there was no way. But it snowed last night, so I braved this butt ass cold this morning to get a few shots. I don't think they give the Butt Assness of the cold justice but they're close.

The Day After*

It's the day after Christmas, so now what? It's like there's this manic race to do everything and get everything done. Parties, food to make, food to eat, go here, rush there, buy, ship, sugar, booze, late nights, etc .... And we had a blizzard thrown into the mix, so then there was shoveling and unprecedented traffic the week leading up to Christmas. And, I turned down several invitations to events trying to keep in mind I don't have to do everything. But still, this day after Christmas I was worn out. I had just enough energy to sit and watch Lucy play with her new toy. There's got to be a better way to enjoy this season at a slower pace. I thought I was doing pretty good with it but my lack of energy and motivation tells me a lot. Time to get grounded, centered and restored.

Cat Butt for Christmas*

Some of my Christmas presents from hubby. Gotta love some Cat Butt! And the Crazy Cat Lady action figure. In case you can't tell, she's got a cat hanging out of a pocket and another on her shoulder. And the random cats look pretty crazy themselves. Speaking of crazy cats ... here's Lucy with one of her xmas presents from grandma.

Our Christmas Tree*

Here's our Christmas Tree! It's a Norfolk pine and we've had it for 9 years now. No going out and buying murdered trees or killing one ourselves. Seriously, everyone should do this. And if you don't/can't keep it past Christmas, plant it somewhere.























I also made a bunch of our ornaments. Some DIY style show I saw over 10 years ago, for some reason I want to say it was Rachel Ray, was showing how to make these little ornaments out of wire.





































Thank you Norfolk pine for being our Christmas tree every year.

More Xmas Decor*

These are some of our xmas decorations. Not your typical stuff. No ribbons or angels or nativity scenes. That's not us. But these things are:) Like Heat Miser ... he's Mr. 101























The Winter Warlock! Puttin' one foot in front of the other ...























Cold Miser!























Who doesn't love the BurgerMeister MeisterBurger?
















And the cast of Rudolph ... Cornelius and the cowboy on the ostrich.















And the Abominable Snowman.